• Get a job where I don’t have the opportunity to say “I didn’t go to college for this shit.”

• Find a nice Craftsman style house that no one has done anything irreparably stupid to, buy it without owing money until I’m nine hundred years old, and live there.

• Mail out my Christmas cards.

• Have a saltwater aquarium.

• Go to culinary school.

• Clean out my closet.

• Stop taking in so much caffeine.

• Keep my T-shirts in good supply.

• Be a contestant on Jeopardy.

• Break the genetic code for supermodels.

• Crunchy’s wedding flowers.

• Raj’s birthday cake.

• Kristie’s daughter’s cake.

• Rachel’s party cake.

• Find my place in the world.¹

• Build a letterboxing care package for Baylee.

• See a least one installment of the Louvre exhibit in Atlanta.

• Go to Ikea and leave with my soul intact.

• Train myself to wake up to the radio function of the alarm clock instead of the siren

• Learn to like raw chocolate.

• Go to a Flogging Molly concert.

• Earn enough money to invest in Hagdis and Kumar’s DIY Cryogenic Preservation project.

• Fix my parents’ DVD/ROM drive.

• Visit Cabinet des Médailles.

• Be nicer to…people I don’t want to be nice to.¹

• Master the art of making caramel apples

• Get married more times than my sister so Memaw will finally have something else to talk about.

• Get my ring resized so I can wear it again.

• Give extensive study to the Glasgow work of Charles Rennie Mackintosh.

• Slap the next person to tell me all albinos have red eyes.

• Learn all the proper names for the conditions considered “dwarfism.”

• Find the perfect pair of sandals and buy sixty pairs of them.

• Curate a museum.

• Talk Lee out of her next tattoo because they all look stupid on her.

• Give some money to Joey’s Therapy Fund.

• Make vanilla vodka.

• Buy grownup furniture.¹

• Visit to the Georgia Aquarium

• Break up with carbohydrates.

• Sculpt cameos.

• Unpack my boxes.¹

• Find a new nail place.

• Get my new desk exactly as I want it.

• Win a lifetime supply of Jelly Belly brand jellybeans.

• Conquer my fear of being deported the hell back to Alabama when visiting Atlantic Station.

• Help Christina Jones with Baby Emily’s nursery.¹

• Buy a new alarm clock.

• Visit Bellingrath Gardens in the Springtime.

• Go on vacation with Bebe without having to get any shots.

• Attend the Wilton Master class series.

• Buy and frame a kimono for my living room.

• Drink more water than Diet Coke.

• Get my posters framed.

• Care more about global warming.

• Vote.

• Adopt some children to take off on my taxes.

• Throw stuff out.

• Tour the Vatican.

• Be considered a quintessential Bluestocking.

• Make real jewelry.

¹ Work in progress