I am Virginia, the Queen; more awesome than at least twenty percent of the rest of the world if only by the merit that I am not presently pursuing an online degree in Criminal Justice or maintaining an Etsy storefront of fugly wares. I am the last person you’d want to ask for driving directions.

I am a twenty-four year old Caucasian Southeastern American; I get no tax breaks whatsoever. I am moderately well educated and ill-equipped for society. I recently moved from Alabama to Atlanta, Georgia and I’m still not sure why that didn’t require a passport. I have a dysfunctional family, just like everyone else. I make up words when I feel the need and I say the f-word a lot, because I can. I talk too much. I’m hypercritical and self-centered. I have absolutely no plans to ever grow up. I have a terrible sense of direction. I’m a quasi-student and a disaffected employee. My typical job duties outline as middle-middle-middle management, but my day-to-day more closely resembles that of a daycare worker for the mentally deficient. I have forgotten more useless trivia than the average person will ever attempt to learn. I like everything, unless I don’t. I have a Memaw; if you were smart, you would too.

I read a lot. I prefer to have the least responsibility in nearly every situation. I am very DIY oriented, but my projects tend to evolve into DIWhy? instead. I find catharsis in complaint, so I bitch a lot. I hate-in-italics hate my job.

My interpersonal relationships leave much to be desired. I find entertainment at other people’s expense.

I’m an Asiaphile². I’m bad with money…not stint-in-the-federal-pen bad but, if given the opportunity and necessary info, Suze Orman would probably kick me in the face.

I’m most definitely not above bigotry.

I don’t mind Small Town America, but I don’t have anything for Small Mind America.

I did not vote for George W. Bush and, in the second grade when my elementary school held mock elections, I didn’t vote for his daddy.

I’m not anything I don’t want to be.